孩子害怕失??？三大對(duì)策應(yīng)對(duì)“輸?shù)闷稹保?/h1>
來(lái)源：好上學(xué) ??時(shí)間：2023-07-21
高考是一個(gè)是一場(chǎng)千軍萬(wàn)馬過(guò)獨(dú)木橋的戰(zhàn)役。面對(duì)高考，考生總是有很多困惑，什么時(shí)候開(kāi)始報(bào)名？高考體檢對(duì)報(bào)考專(zhuān)業(yè)有什么影響？什么時(shí)候填報(bào)志愿？怎么填報(bào)志愿？等等，為了幫助考生解惑，好上學(xué)整理了孩子害怕失敗？三大對(duì)策應(yīng)對(duì)“輸?shù)闷稹?！相關(guān)信息，供考生參考，一起來(lái)看一下吧
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<p>曾經(jīng)和一個(gè)2歲多的寶寶玩紙貼，當(dāng)時(shí)她對(duì)物品的觀察和理解能力都還不錯(cuò)，但手指配合的精細(xì)能力還有點(diǎn)不夠，所以圖片貼的位置總不夠精準(zhǔn)，比如超過(guò)邊框啦、位置不正啦等，剛開(kāi)始我會(huì)很輕聲地提醒建議她是不是要挪一挪重新貼一下，而她馬上就會(huì)心生退怯朝我招呼：“阿姨貼，不貼了！”然后她就把貼紙塞到我手里不再動(dòng)作。</p>
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<p style="line-height: 25.6px;">我意識(shí)到她對(duì)評(píng)價(jià)比較敏感，我的建議在她那里被理解成了否定，打擊到她的小自尊了，所以，為了避免再次失敗而被我“建議”，她干脆不玩了。于是我馬上調(diào)整自己，降低對(duì)她的要求，貼得正不正不重要，只要她能找到正確的位置，盡量鼓勵(lì)她自己去貼，貼成怎樣我都不再評(píng)價(jià)，只是告訴她：“不錯(cuò)，我們接著來(lái)！”</p>
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<p style="line-height: 25.6px;">等她貼了幾個(gè)心情好點(diǎn)之后，我試著慢慢告訴她貼紙的基本原則：不能壓住旁邊的字或畫(huà)，不能超出畫(huà)好的邊界線(xiàn)。又貼了幾個(gè)之后，她開(kāi)始進(jìn)入自我感覺(jué)良好的陶醉狀態(tài)，一邊貼一邊自言自語(yǔ)：“不能壓住哦，不能超出邊界哦！”最后一口氣貼了半個(gè)小時(shí)，完成了4個(gè)故事的拼圖作品，并且從此對(duì)貼紙的熱情不減。</p>
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<p>這只是一個(gè)個(gè)案，不過(guò)在平時(shí)的家庭教育培訓(xùn)和咨詢(xún)輔導(dǎo)中，我經(jīng)常接到不少父母的反饋，說(shuō)自己的孩子“輸不起”、“害怕失敗”，遇到一點(diǎn)失敗就備受打擊消沉不已，或者是因?yàn)楹ε率《纱嗵颖芾щy和挑戰(zhàn)。</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">其實(shí)，這種現(xiàn)象并沒(méi)我們大人想象的那么嚴(yán)重，這只是孩子在面對(duì)壓力時(shí)表現(xiàn)出的一種本能的應(yīng)激反應(yīng)，從某種意義上來(lái)說(shuō)，是有一定的<strong style="font-size: 16px;">自我保護(hù)和<strong style="font-size: 16px;">調(diào)整價(jià)值的。</p>
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<p>孩子為什么會(huì)不愿面對(duì)失敗、害怕失??？如何才能幫助孩子更健康積極地面對(duì)失敗、培養(yǎng)“輸?shù)闷稹钡暮⒆?？下面我從三個(gè)角度逐一來(lái)剖析其中的原因及對(duì)策。</p>
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<p class="135brush" data-brushtype="text" style="line-height: 22px; font-size: 18px;">原因一：對(duì)失敗的認(rèn)識(shí)不夠客觀全面</p>
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<p>過(guò)于結(jié)果導(dǎo)向，不懂得享受過(guò)程，錯(cuò)誤地認(rèn)為失敗沒(méi)有任何收獲與價(jià)值，認(rèn)為一次失敗就是全盤(pán)皆錯(cuò)、就是“整個(gè)人都不好了”，進(jìn)而錯(cuò)誤地否定自己。</p>
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<p>對(duì)策：引導(dǎo)孩子建立正向思維。</p>
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<p>幫助孩子學(xué)會(huì)看到事情的好的一面：正因?yàn)樗ち艘货?，我們才?huì)下次努力不再摔跤，所以，失敗讓我們有機(jī)會(huì)去反思和成長(zhǎng)，收獲寶貴的經(jīng)驗(yàn)和教訓(xùn)；這次失敗了，并不代表我們就是個(gè)“失敗的孩子”，只是因?yàn)槲覀兙毩?xí)的次數(shù)還不夠多而已，只要努力，總有一天我們會(huì)做得更好。</p>
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<p>在孩子碰到挫折時(shí)，別一上來(lái)就責(zé)備：“怎么這點(diǎn)小事都做不好？”你可以啟發(fā)孩子正向思考：“這次雖然不是太理想，但我相信你已經(jīng)很努力了。你有沒(méi)有學(xué)到什么有用的經(jīng)驗(yàn)?zāi)兀俊边@樣一來(lái)，孩子就會(huì)逐步養(yǎng)成正向思維的習(xí)慣，碰到問(wèn)題懂得先去思考正面的意義和價(jià)值，從而避免了負(fù)面情緒的干擾，有勇氣從挫折中走出來(lái)。</p>
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父母應(yīng)常常用正向思維來(lái)影響和啟發(fā)孩子對(duì)事物的看法，同時(shí)給予孩子更多積極情緒與能量的傳遞。</section>
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<p>比如寶寶摔倒了，積極樂(lè)觀的父母會(huì)保持關(guān)注，同時(shí)淡定微笑地張開(kāi)懷抱鼓勵(lì)孩子，意思是“沒(méi)關(guān)系，寶寶自己可以爬起來(lái)的！”這個(gè)時(shí)候，孩子接收到的情緒能量就是勇氣與自信；而消極負(fù)面的父母可能就會(huì)第一時(shí)間驚慌失措地跑過(guò)去大聲追問(wèn)“怎么樣，有沒(méi)有摔到？嚇?biāo)缷寢屃?！”毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)，這種情況下孩子接收到的情緒能量就是恐懼與脆弱。</p>
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<p class="135brush" data-brushtype="text" style="line-height: 22px; font-size: 18px;">原因二：過(guò)度自尊和敏感</p>
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<p>這類(lèi)孩子特別要面子，過(guò)于在意別人的評(píng)價(jià)與反饋，活在“別人的眼光”中，所以，他們會(huì)尤其害怕失敗，其實(shí)是害怕失敗會(huì)帶來(lái)別人的批評(píng)與否定，比如父母、老師、同學(xué)、親戚朋友等。</p>
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<p>對(duì)策：引導(dǎo)孩子活出自我。</p>
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<p>對(duì)于這類(lèi)孩子，我們首先要做的是接納孩子的失敗、接納孩子因?yàn)槭《鸬娜魏畏磻?yīng)，不要過(guò)多評(píng)價(jià)和議論失敗本身，尤其不要給孩子貼負(fù)面標(biāo)簽，諸如指責(zé)其“膽小”、“輸不起”之類(lèi)，讓他感覺(jué)到失敗其實(shí)并沒(méi)有讓大家對(duì)他因此而產(chǎn)生任何負(fù)面想法，大家并沒(méi)有把他的所謂“失敗”放在心里。所以，在開(kāi)頭我自己的案例中，在意識(shí)到藍(lán)藍(lán)對(duì)評(píng)價(jià)比較敏感之后，我就立刻停止了對(duì)她的“建議和提醒”。</p>
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<p>其次，讓孩子明白失敗是很正常的事情，每個(gè)人都會(huì)有失敗的時(shí)候，不光是孩子，大人也不例外。你可以給他講講他身邊一些同齡人失敗的經(jīng)歷，甚至可以講講你當(dāng)年失敗的“糗事”，告訴他其實(shí)爸爸媽媽很理解他。</p>
<p></p>
<p>最后，家長(zhǎng)必須經(jīng)常引導(dǎo)孩子在實(shí)踐中看到自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)，無(wú)論是外在還是內(nèi)在，并適時(shí)加以鼓勵(lì)。這樣一來(lái)，孩子逐步就會(huì)明白，別人的眼光和評(píng)價(jià)其實(shí)并沒(méi)那么重要，我們不完美，但我們是世界上獨(dú)一無(wú)二的自己。</p>
<p></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"></p>
<p></p>
<p>我曾經(jīng)給女兒讀過(guò)一本繪本《我就喜歡我自己》，青蛙弗洛格最終明白：我雖然不會(huì)像鴨子一樣飛，不會(huì)像小豬一樣做好吃的，不會(huì)像老鼠一樣做東西，也不會(huì)像野兔一樣讀書(shū)，但我會(huì)游泳，會(huì)跳躍，我的綠色是我最喜歡的顏色。我是一只很棒的青蛙！多么深刻的領(lǐng)悟！</p>
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你的孩子長(zhǎng)處在哪里？有什么優(yōu)點(diǎn)和可愛(ài)之處？孩子自己知道這些嗎？每個(gè)人都有長(zhǎng)短優(yōu)劣，看到自己長(zhǎng)處的人會(huì)接納和欣賞自己，而盯著自己短處的人勢(shì)必自卑和消極。</section>
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<p class="135brush" data-brushtype="text" style="line-height: 22px; font-size: 18px;">原因三：經(jīng)驗(yàn)與能力不夠，進(jìn)而缺乏勇氣</p>
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<p>除了心態(tài)上的原因，對(duì)孩子而言，很多時(shí)候失敗確實(shí)是因?yàn)樽陨砟挲g的關(guān)系，導(dǎo)致經(jīng)驗(yàn)與能力不夠，對(duì)事情沒(méi)有把握，進(jìn)而缺乏信心與勇氣。</p>
<p></p>
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<p>對(duì)策：鼓勵(lì)和幫助孩子找到解決問(wèn)題的辦法。</p>
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<p>看到孩子遇到問(wèn)題和挫折止步甚至退縮時(shí)，要想孩子積極面對(duì)，光靠簡(jiǎn)單的鼓勵(lì)諸如“不怕，你一定可以的！”這類(lèi)話(huà)語(yǔ)是遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不夠的，父母應(yīng)該給予孩子適當(dāng)?shù)闹笇?dǎo)和幫助，幫助他克服心中的恐懼和擔(dān)心。</p>
<p></p>
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<p style="line-height: 25.6px;">比如開(kāi)頭我自己的案例中，我后續(xù)就試著慢慢告訴藍(lán)藍(lán)貼紙的基本原則，幫助她逐步貼紙的技巧，而有了幾次成功的經(jīng)驗(yàn)之后，她對(duì)貼紙的信心就大大增加，就算偶爾再?zèng)]貼好，也不會(huì)輕言放棄了。</p>
<p style="line-height: 25.6px;">再比如，頭一次玩滑梯的孩子，不敢從高高的滑梯上下來(lái)，或者是第一次沒(méi)滑好不敢再繼續(xù)，父母要怎么做呢？你可以告訴孩子，咱們第一次玩，不知道怎么玩、玩不好都沒(méi)關(guān)系，我們先看看別人是怎么玩的？帶著孩子邊看邊對(duì)玩滑梯的要領(lǐng)做個(gè)總結(jié)，比如身體要坐直，手要左右分開(kāi)搭在兩邊扶手上，腿要伸直。等孩子看幾遍明白了大概之后，如果還不敢行動(dòng)，你可以親自示范幾次，然后就可以在滑梯下頭，展開(kāi)你的懷抱，鼓勵(lì)孩子滑下來(lái)。</p>
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<p>這樣一來(lái)，孩子慢慢就會(huì)知道，碰到困難時(shí)不用擔(dān)心和逃避，因?yàn)樗梢酝ㄟ^(guò)自己的觀察、思考和學(xué)習(xí)、嘗試等，去逐步克服困難。</p>
<p>除以上三點(diǎn)之外，給予孩子更多高質(zhì)量的陪伴，多給孩子一點(diǎn)自由和獨(dú)立自主的權(quán)利，給孩子*更多開(kāi)闊眼界、增長(zhǎng)見(jiàn)識(shí)的機(jī)會(huì)，引導(dǎo)孩子培養(yǎng)一點(diǎn)興趣愛(ài)好，鼓勵(lì)孩子多交朋友等，都有助于增強(qiáng)孩子的自信與底氣，在面對(duì)挫折時(shí)能更快地排解壓力、重整旗鼓。</p>
<p></p>
<p>最后特別要提醒大家的是，挫折教育千萬(wàn)不要“矯枉過(guò)正”。有些父母甚至還會(huì)特意給孩子*一些“挫折”來(lái)磨練孩子，但事實(shí)上，孩子的抗挫折能力根本不需要刻意而為之，對(duì)于孩子而言，從出生到長(zhǎng)大，本身就是一個(gè)充滿(mǎn)挑戰(zhàn)和挫折的過(guò)程。你只需要幫助孩子處理好他生命中的每一次或大或小的挑戰(zhàn)與挫折，小到一次喝奶、一次摔跤、一次*，大到一次批評(píng)、一次考試失利、一次比賽淘汰等，讓孩子從中習(xí)得營(yíng)養(yǎng)與力量，就已經(jīng)足夠了。</p>
<p></p>
</section>
</section>以上就是好上學(xué)為大家?guī)?lái)的孩子害怕失敗？三大對(duì)策應(yīng)對(duì)“輸?shù)闷稹保?，希望能幫助到廣大考生！ <p>標(biāo)簽：<a href="/topic/haizihaipashibaisandaduiceyingduishudeqi/" rel="tag">孩子害怕失敗？三大對(duì)策應(yīng)對(duì)“輸?shù)闷稹保?/a>??</p> </div>
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